


THE MOON

by dokyumingyu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 07:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9481376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dokyumingyu/pseuds/dokyumingyu
Summary: "All he wanted was her love, and all she wanted was the moon."





	

한 번쯤은 돌아와  
지친 날 안아줄래요  
그대 없이는 도저히 견뎌낼 수가 없어  
하루가 너무 길어요

—

CAN YOU COME BACK ONCE  
AND HOLD ME WHO'S TIRED  
I CAN'T STAND ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU  
THE DAY IS TOO LONG

—

DEAR MOON  
JEON HYOSUNG

**—**   
**THE MOON**   
**—**

Oh Sohee was sick. She always was, and she always would be. She stared silently through the window of her hospital room day in and day out because she knew she could only expect the sun and the moon. She could not expect another day of living, but she could only expect the sun and the moon; nothing else but the sun and the moon.

She had a doctor, just like every sick child, and she had a nurse. Her nurse was a student, but Sohee wasn't complaining; she couldn't expect anything and was in no position to complain. She would sit in her bed very still and unmoving, her eyes not leaving the blue sky and the white cotton clouds. The nurse would tell her stories of her life, other peoples' lives, but Sohee was disinterested in it all; she didn't expect her nurse to expect her to care either.

The suns blazed, and the moons shined, and the days went by, each day getting slower and longer than the other. Sohee didn't expect it, but she did wonder if the longest day would be when she died. The day would drag on and on, and the sun would blaze and blaze. It frightened her; she wanted to see the moon; she didn't want the moon to disappear. She wanted the moon to be hers, with her. Sohee could want, but she couldn't expect. Sohee was expected to want, but she wasn't expected to expect.

The nurse left. She was graduating. Sohee wondered how many moons had passed since she first met the nurse. The nurse got a job elsewhere, and Sohee got a new nurse. He was also a student; Sohee always got student nurses. Although he was supposed to be in college, Sohee couldn't help but think he was younger when he first introduced himself. Maybe it was the way his hair was styled, or maybe it was the way he greeted her. It did not seem professional at all, but it was still nice since it was variation, and Sohee needed some variation from her blazing suns and her shining moons.

"Hi," he greeted her the day they first met. "I'm Wonwoo. I'll be your new nurse."

He stuck his hand out for her to shake, but Sohee looked away. Clearly, he didn't know what state she was in. The doctor leaned in and whispered into the nurse's ear, and Sohee's eyes turned to look at him just in time to see his facial expression change. He looked so pained and appalled; Sohee kind of felt bad for him, but she couldn't say anything. She looked away again and stared at the drifting clouds and the patches of blue in the sky.

—

Wonwoo was wary around her after their first encounter. Sohee thought it was because of the way she introduced herself, but she didn't know; she didn't care either. She just wanted to stare at the blue and wait for the stars and the moon.

It took a while for Wonwoo to get comfortable with her. He would linger in the room and watch her from afar. If she coughed or sneezed, Wonwoo would run over to her side and ask her a billion questions in one single breath. Sohee didn't know if it was funny or irritating, but a couple times after he kept reacting the same way, Sohee realized it was irritating, and thus she got irritated. He kept acting as if she was going to drop dead any time soon. She wasn't going to drop dead any time soon because she knew she couldn't expect her death. She couldn't expect anything.

When Wonwoo finally got comfortable around Sohee, it was different. Sohee liked the company for some reason because Wonwoo was different. He looked serious and upset, but in reality, he laughed at every single thing and was just extremely outgoing. He would make a fool of himself often, and it was funny, really. The only thing Sohee didn't like was the fact that Wonwoo was hesitant to talk to her. Sohee wished Wonwoo would just talk to her, but she couldn't help her situation, and she knew it wasn't Wonwoo's fault that he was hesitant.

Sohee might not have been able to move, but she could talk; she just preferred not to. Talking took energy that Sohee did not have because she stayed up late to see the moon. Wonwoo didn't know that; he didn't have to know that. Sohee didn't expect him to want to know either. She was taken aback the day he asked her because, of course, she didn't expect.

That day he asked her, that day, the sun shone just a little brighter, the sky was just a little bluer, and the clouds were a little fluffier. That day, Sohee wanted to fly through the clouds and the sky, and she wanted rest her back against the soft, cushiony clouds and watch the sun get swallowed up in the clouds and watch the moon swell through the clouds. She wanted, but she didn't expect to feel that way when he asked her. She never expected.

"I have a question," he said to her that day. "You can talk, right?"

Sohee didn't nod; she couldn't. She opened her mouth and uttered a word after years and years of not speaking.

"Yes," she said quietly; she was scared her voice would crack.

Sohee didn't expect anything, but she was surprised when she saw Wonwoo's face light up just a little bit. He seemed happier than usual. He seemed so happy, so pleased that she was able to talk. It kind of made Sohee feel bad for the other nurse since she never spoke to her. It also made her feel bad that she neglected to talk to this boy who just wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Okay, that wasn't my question," he chuckled.

"Then?" she asked softly; she didn't expect to be so daring.

Wonwoo paused. He looked at her, then outside. Sohee looked outside as well, her eyes trailing past the boy to look at the window. She saw the everlasting blue sky and the marshmallow clouds drifting towards her, or was it away from her? She continued looking, unaffected by the blue of the sky, the white of the clouds, nor the yellow of the sun. Wonwoo turned back to her, but Sohee was still looking out the window. 

"Why do you always look out the window?" he asked his question anyways.

That was a question Sohee was never asked. She looked at Wonwoo from the corner of her eye, and then looked back outside. All she could see was the sun, the biggest star. All she could see was the sun, but all she wanted to see was the moon.

"I want the moon," she said.

Wonwoo nodded; Sohee saw him nod. They continued looking at the blue sky and the blazing sun, Wonwoo clearing his throat.

"Why do you want the moon?"

Sohee didn't know why she wanted the moon. She thought it was because she missed the moon, or because the moon was nice. She couldn't believe her reason until she told Wonwoo.

"The moon doesn't expect anything."

—

Sohee started talking to Wonwoo a lot more. He made her happier, despite the fact she was crippled in bed. She told Wonwoo why she was paralyzed from the neck down, and Wonwoo was so understanding of it. Her previous nurse cringed at her story, and Sohee knew it wasn't the nurse's fault; the nature of the story itself was cringeworthy, but Wonwoo was different. At the end of Sohee's story, all Wonwoo did was wipe the stray tear from the corner of Sohee's eye and smiled. Sohee hadn't cried like that in years. Wonwoo's smile made her cry because she was so grateful. Sohee was grateful.

Wonwoo felt himself slowly fall for Sohee. He liked the way she smiled, the way she looked out the window and waited for the sun to disappear behind the clouds and turn the sky the same rosy pink that decorated Sohee's cheeks. He fell for her sparkling eyes, her small pout, and just her in general, but Wonwoo couldn't tell her. Sohee knew already, and she wouldn't let him say it.

"Wonwoo," she said one day as he was cleaning the flower vase that sat on the table next to the bed.

"Yes, Sohee," he responded.

"Do you know why the moon doesn't expect anything?"

"Why is that?"

"The moon never disappoints," she answered as she closed her eyes.

"Why do you say that?"

"The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone," Sohee explained carefully. "The moon doesn't expect and doesn't disappoint."

"How does the moon not disappoint?"

"You can stare at the moon all you want, and the moon won't hurt you. If you try to look at the sun, your eyes hurt, and then you realize that you can't see the sun. The sun disappoints, but the moon doesn't."

Wonwoo almost cried that day; Sohee was right.

Sohee and Wonwoo had definitely gotten closer. Wonwoo was talking to Sohee a lot more, and Sohee was smiling a lot more. The doctors were glad at the sudden change, but they realized something else. Sohee was dying. Her respiratory system was failing, and they couldn't strengthen her lungs as well since she couldn't move.

Wonwoo was busy helping Sohee with therapy. They were doing breathing exercises often, but it was hurting Sohee. Wonwoo couldn't bear to see Sohee in pain. They would stop the exercises when Sohee felt that she couldn't breathe, and the doctors were not happy about that. However, Wonwoo couldn't help it because he loved her.

"Wonwoo," Sohee rasped one day; her breathing was getting worse.

"Yes?" Wonwoo bit back the urge to call her angel.

"My chest hurts," she frowned, and Wonwoo frowned.

Wonwoo walked over to the bed and shook his head. Sohee looked as if she were close to tears, and Wonwoo couldn't bare it. He sat on the bed close enough to her and cupped her face, Sohee gasping for air as she let a tear slip out of her eye. Wonwoo felt close to tears as well; seeing Sohee in pain pained him as well. He hugged her, and Sohee burst into tears. She couldn't stop crying; she couldn't breathe and she could feel the warmth, the sincerity of Wonwoo's hug. Sohee kept crying, and Wonwoo kept hugging her. He would never let her go. He loved her.

"Wonwoo," she whispered; she had calmed down after thirty minutes of trying to regain her breath and stop crying.

"Yes, Sohee," Wonwoo replied softly.

"I want to die."

"Don't say that. I love you so much, please don't say that," Wonwoo whispered.

"Wonwoo," Sohee teared up; why did Wonwoo have to say that? She didn't want him to say that.

Wonwoo shushed her. "Not a word," Wonwoo held her closer, tighter, and this time, Sohee couldn't feel it.

—

Sohee was put on a ventilator. She passed out one night because she couldn't breathe, and Wonwoo felt panicked. He wanted to make sure Sohee lived. He wanted her to stay alive and wait for the moon, the moon that didn't expect, the moon that didn't disappoint.

Sohee stopped talking to Wonwoo. It upset the two of them that they didn't talk anymore, but Sohee couldn't speak over the noise of the ventilator, and they couldn't turn it off because Sohee needed to breathe.

Sohee thought the paralysis would make her most miserable. She hated not being able to breathe more that not being able to walk or move. She wanted to breathe again, but she couldn't expect any of that. She couldn't expect anything.

The doctors came up with a date. Wonwoo tried to convince them otherwise, but the doctors said there was no use. The date would stand, and Sohee would pass before then. The worst part was that the date wasn't far off into the future, but it was extremely close, and Wonwoo had simply a matter of days before the date had arrived.

Wonwoo hugged her every chance he got. He left soft kisses all over her rosy face every single second he could be with her. He loved her as much as he could, and Sohee didn't like it at all. She didn't like seeing Wonwoo in pain, and she didn't like seeing Wonwoo in love. She knew to never get too attracted to anyone unless they also felt the same towards you because the one sided expectations could kill you. The problem was that Wonwoo was the one with the one sided expectations, and it was Sohee that would die.

The doctors managed to finally get Sohee a quieter ventilator, but Sohee refused to talk. Wonwoo talked the most between them. Sohee couldn't even nod, so Wonwoo didn't know if Sohee was listening and agreeing or disagreeing. He didn't mind though; he would love her regardless, and that was what Sohee disliked.

"Sohee, what do you think the moon is made of?" Wonwoo asked one day as the sun was setting; Sohee had taken a nap in the middle of the day, so she was able to stay awake.

"Rocks, of course," Sohee murmured; she was always eager to answer questions about the moon.

"I think the moon is made of silver," Wonwoo said. "It's no bigger than the size of my thumbnail."

Sohee blinked. She didn't understand if Wonwoo was being serious or not. Wonwoo turned around and asked again with a smile on his face as he gazed at the girl with fondness, "What do you think the moon is made of?"

"The moon," Sohee mused out loud. "It's made of crystal stardust. It's as small as a small pendant that rests right below your collarbone and shines brighter than the sun."

Wonwoo nodded and turned back around, Sohee falling asleep before the sun went away and the moon shone onto her waiting eyes.

—

Sohee could barely talk after a while. She struggled to talk. She and Wonwoo were days before they were separated, and Wonwoo just wanted her to defy everyone and everything and live one day past the date they chose for her.

Wonwoo loved Sohee so much. He wished he could take her out on her wheelchair one night before she passed so that it would be their last memory together, but Wonwoo didn't know when Sohee would pass; he didn't want her to pass at all. He wanted her to live, and live, and live, and live, and he wanted her to live with him.

The date was just around the corner, and Sohee had been sleeping for most of the night and day. Seeing the moon was something she never expected, and something she was not allowed to expect even if she wanted to. The moon was a dream. The sun blazed on, the harsh yellow rays hurting her eyes. She just wanted the moonlight; she just wanted the moon.

Time was ticking, the moons were passing, and all Sohee saw was just a little bit of the blue sky and a little bit of the sun. She slept for most of the day, and Wonwoo would sit by her bedside and watched as her chest slowly rose and fell. His heart would start racing when her chest wouldn't rise after moments of steady rising and falling, and would relax again when she took another breath. Wonwoo worried for her so much, and Sohee didn't like that, but she couldn't tell him to stop because she couldn't expect him to stop; she couldn't expect anything.

The doctors finally gave Wonwoo the clearance to take Sohee out for a wheelchair ride one day before their selected date. Sohee was dressed in her hospital gown and a sweater one of the nurses had gifted her after Wonwoo told another nurse about their "date." Sohee couldn't expect anything out of their date, but she was grateful of just the idea.

Sohee, after days and days of seeing nothing but the sun, awoke that evening to see the sun setting, and flourishes of pinks and purples invading the sky and the clouds. She smiled; she didn't expect the sun set. That didn't mean she could expect the moon. She could never expect the moon. Wonwoo helped her into the wheelchair as she continued looking at the sunset, a smile painted onto her pale face.

Wonwoo took her outside in front of the hospital. The sun was gone by then, and the first couple of stars were shining. The prettiest thing of all was the moon, and the look of Sohee's face when she gazed fondly at the crystal in the sky. The moon shown brightly, yet softly at the same time. The moonlight washed over her face and into her lungs, one breath swelling through her. She sighed and for a brief moment, she felt as if she could breathe again. However, it was a brief moment, and she was struggling for air once again.

Wonwoo pushed her over to the park so that she could get a better view of the moon. He stood behind her nervously as the moon shone past the clouds in the sky and twinkled upon them. He dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small locket on a thin silver chain. He walked around the wheelchair, Sohee continuing to look at the moon as he got down on one knee. Sohee looked over at the kneeling boy, alarm written all over her face.

"Sohee, I wasn't able to get you the moon," he started as he held out the pendant that rested on the palm of his hand. "However, I could get you part of the moon."

The alarm swept away, and tears sprung to her eyes as she smiled at the pendant. It was so elegant, so simple. It may not have been the moon, but it was her moon. It was the moon Wonwoo gave to her, and it was the moon Sohee had always wanted. She started crying as Wonwoo got up and put on the chain around her fragile collarbones. The pendant left a cool spot on the center of her chest, the moon with Sohee. She had been through many suns, many moon, and she finally got what she had wanted. She hadn't expected it, but she finally got it.

Wonwoo pushed her wheelchair back to the entrance of the hospital. They strolled through the hallways by the windows so that Sohee could still look at the moon, but Sohee no longer needed to look at the moon. She had her moon.

"Wonwoo," she whispered.

"Yes, Sohee."

"I love you to the moon and back," Sohee closed her eyes and smiled, a single tear escaping her eye and rolling down her cheek.

The tear trailed down her cheek, her neck, and followed along the silver chain. It reached the pendant and rested on her still chest. Wonwoo bit back a sob as he looked to the moon. They were unmoving as Wonwoo looked at the moon.

"I love you so much more than just to the moon and back," Wonwoo whispered through tears.

 


End file.
